Last week we asked our Facebook fans to help us come up with 30 funny fish jokes in honor of the National Aquarium's 30th anniversary. The 30-plus jokes we received appear below. Like us on Facebook to add your own funny fish tales to the post! Matthew Abbott of Washington, DC: One fish says to the other, "You drink like a fish." The other fish responds, "So do you." Kimberly Rose Allred of Laurel, MD: What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people. What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line. What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish. Margie Bright Arndt: What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tunafish! (from my son Josh) Sumintra Mohan Aumiller: If fish lived on land, which country would they live in? Finland. Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank. Bre Brenner: Why did the whale cross the street? To get to the other tide. BaltimoreMD: Mother: Have you given the fish fresh water today? Son: No, they still haven’t drunk yesterday's. Matt Colly of Bel Air, MD: What does a fish say when he bangs his head on a wall? "Dam." Karen Chester Dieffenbach of Waldorf, MD: A fish walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you?" The fish replies (gasping), "Water!" Mary Jo Demshock of Nuremberg, PA: What happened to the fishing boat that sank in piranha-infested waters? It came back with a skeleton crew. Chuck Fuller of Baltimore, MD: Two parrots are sitting on a perch...The first one says to the other, “Does something smell fishy?” Jen Gatewood of Lansdale, PA: Why are fish smarter than humans?? Have you ever seen a fish spend hundreds of dollars trying to hook a human...and still can't? Why are goldfish orange? The water makes them rust! What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna piano! Michele Gomez of Baltimore, MD: Why wouldn't the little shrimp share his toys? Because he was a little shellfish. Leslie Jennings of Roanoke, VA & Dave Pittenger of Baltimore, MD: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand. Megan Ann King of Baltimore, MD: This is from my 5 year old.... What kind of fish chases mice? A catfish. :) Kara Eichelman Leahy: Where does seaweed look for a job? In the 'kelp-wanted' ads! Marco LeMonde, Citizen of the World: What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse? The CODfather! Lisa Ludwig of Salisbury, MD: What do fish use to make telephone calls? A shell phone. Leah Hamlin: Why are dolphins more clever than humans? Within three hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish! Leslie Jennings of Roanoke, VA: What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool ? Show me your mussels! :) Genevieve Liboiron of Baltimore, MD: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda! Lisa Thompson Lovette of Portsmouth, VA: Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear? Because they have electric 'eels! Maria May: What kind of fish has two knees? A "tunee fish." National Aquarium, Baltimore: What day of the week do fish hate? Fryday!!! Jennifer Odom: What do you call a scared fish? Chicken of the sea. That made my mom laugh when I was in second grade. Adam Phelps of Cary, NC: What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish. Anne A. Province: My daughter likes these... What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter? A jellyfish. Where do you take a fish that's ill? To the Doc-topus! Christiana Mercer Rigby of Washington, DC & Gene Taylor of Westminster, MD: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH! (pronounced fsssssh) :) Leslie Meadows Stretton: What kind of fish is especially funny? A clown fish! Jason Stroble of Palm Bay, FL: Sometimes I go fishing just for the halibut! Thought of another ...did I mention I love cheesy jokes? Why did the Sheephead blush? Because the sea-weed! Jennifer McColery Trayer: What's the smartest animal? A fish because they stay in schools! Kristen Skvorak Vallieu of Pittsburgh, PA: OK, here is the joke my dad has been telling us kids for the past 30 years (as far back as I can remember): What do you call a fish with two knees? A two knee fish! (groan... :D) Categories: News Previous Post Next Post